A @demonbitters original. Let's start with the base spirit. Like any hipster worth his salt I deserve the most authentic liquor in my drinks. I deserve Craft. I deserve flavour. So naturally I reach for a little known boutique small batch vodka made in Russia. Can be tough to find.To lengthen that base out I turn to an unusual but really quite quick and easy home-made Tweed vermouth recipe. Simply shred a Tweed waistcoat that has seen at least a months worth of back to back weekend bar shifts and infuse in a large mason-jar full of cheap oxidised Lambrusco. After eight days decant by marble run into a lime wood barrel and age for 163 days. To add to that I add dehydrated Cockney tap water (Dick Van Dyke, Gawd Bless 'is soul). Bake a tray of water poured from a tap - sorry, faucet - within earshot of the Bow bells (ideally in Hoxton).Finally for seasoning my own patented Ironic Bitters; two parts Angostura to one part simple syrup - they are just too bitter on their own, no?
8 seconds Smirnoff Red
A pocket watch cover of Tweed vermouth
One teacup saucer of dehydrated Cockney water
A generous smear of Ironic Bitters
Stir 14.3 times anti-clockwise with nonchalance. Then 6.8 times clockwise while thumping chest with Samuel T Herring like intensity. Strain. Garnish with a dehydrated Fernet Branca candy floss moustache (Hipster styling, natch).