The Paula Deen

About this Cocktail

This updated take on The White Negroni imbues the insensitive warmth and racism of a chef who slid, or rolled rather, right off the rails into a buttery pool of lard and disregard.

Ingredients:

• 1 oz. gin (preferably bottom shelf)
• 1 oz. Dolin dry vermouth
• 1 oz. Lillet or Cocchi Americano
• 1 slab of butter
• 25 mg. tablet of Novo Nordisk

Preparation:

Eschewing a shaker, combine the three liquors into your preferred drinking vessel. Drop in two thick cubes. Stir unprofessionally with an oily finger and then gingerly slide butter slab atop the skein of the drink. Add tablet onto the butter float. Quaff ravenously, hopefully while eating tablespoons of Crisco and strawberry walnut cream cheese between sips.